Debate Society

Why They're Here:

  • LEGO: Be honest, when you see a giant sculpture made out of LEGOs no matter how old you are you think it's awesome. Blocks that hurt when you step on them and can be impossible to pull apart.
  • Cabbage Patch Kids: Totally cute and adorable doll with a clever adoption story behind them. It was a baby that was born from lettuce? Nobody is worried about this?
  • Easy-Bake Oven: Delicious treats at your finger tips at 8 years old. Cooking small cakes with a light bulb? Healthy.
  • Mr. Potato Head: It's perfectly silly and can't be taken seriously which is what makes it fun. Not sure the ingredients for childhood fun are a potato and some facial features you can stick on.
  • Hungry Hungry Hippos: Fast action fun with a funny theme song that never got old. It's just how fast you can flip that switch, right? Am I missing something?
  • Teddy Ruxpin: Wow, it's a talking teddy bear who is actually talking to me! Yikes, it's a talking teddy bear who is actually talking to me!
  • Strawberry Shortcake: They all smelled so good you couldn't resist playing with them. The smell of these things were nauseating after a while. Anyone figure out how they kept that for so long? Doesn't worry anyone?
  • Connect 4: Pretty sneaky sis! Plus when you lost it was still fun to drop all the pieces out the bottom. This was less exciting than checkers. That's hard to do.
  • Star Wars Action Figures: Life-like detail and cool accessories too! Being able to have a light saber come out of Darth Vader or Luke's arm was ingenious. Ugh, how many different versions of Han Solo do I need to buy?
  • Care Bears: Cute stuffed animals with a fun cartoon to boot. You had to be heartless if 'Friend Bear' or 'Love-a-Lot Bear' didn't make you smile. These bears were just ways to manipulate kids feelings. Remember they had a cartoon called "The Care Bears in the Land Without Feelings" - huh?
  • Matchbox/Hot Wheels: Nothing like setting up those orange tracks and making cars jump stuff! It's a small car. What else you got?
  • Lite Brite: The patterns were so much fun to use, you could make actual art. Don't stare at that light bulb too long, you'll burn your eye out.
  • Etch-a-Sketch: So much fun to see when people would make famous portraits or a cool maze.Honestly, how far did you get with this toy really? I mean once you made any kind of mistake you had to start all ov Honestly, how far did you get with this toy really? I mean once you made any kind of mistake you had to start all over.
  • Slot Cars: NASCAR or Formula One in my living room and I get to drive! Did these things ever stay on the track?
  • My Little Pony: Tons of personality and fun to brush their hair. They were horses that talked and the hair brushing seemed unnecessary.
  • Simon: Every game seemed like an attempt at a world record! Could you get more mindless pushing of buttons?
  • Barbie: The ultimate in a girls doll. No one is bigger or better known. Never seemed to treat Ken all that well.
  • GI Joe: Now that's a real American hero! Let me get this straight, he's your very own mercenary?
  • Chutes and Ladders: This game never ended! Up and down then back up again! First to 100 wins! Hmmm, I guess it was fun to play for a few minutes but they really penalized you for breaking that cookie jar.
  • Play-Doh: Nothing more satisfying than that Play-Doh barbershop and squeezing and cutting Play-Doh into molds. Hmmm, here's a toy that basically transfers all dirt from your hands onto a ball of puddy.
  • Candy Land: The only thing that would make this better would be if the pieces were edible. Molasses Swamp? More like Not That Much Fun Swamp.
  • Mouse Trap: A kids version of a Rube Goldberg machine…genius I watched Tom and Jerry, no mouse would fall for these tricks.
  • Battleship: You sank my battleship! So frustrating how close you could come to winning and not even know it. This is just basically guessing numbers.
  • American Girl Doll: Nothing cooler than seeing yourself in a doll and having you be your own best friend. Nothing cooler than seeing yourself in a doll and having you be your own best friend.
  • Monopoly: Actually needed to know something about strategy to win. Made you feel smart. Made you feel dumb when you had a string of bad rolls landing you in jail and wiping you out.
  • Transformers: More than meets the eye indeed! All-time best character - Optimus Prime. Where's leadership like that today? They could be a car or a truck or a car or a car.
  • Big Wheel: Ripping around your driveway or sidewalk and pulling your hand break to skid out - pretty awesome This was mostly just a stick sharpening machine for the mean kids
  • Lincoln Logs: Fun to build and stack and see how strong things could be. It's logs. Can we move on?
  • Train Set: Putting the tracks together, setting up the towns, hooking up the power to drive the train, so cool! So you end up with a train going in a circle? Big whoop.
  • Hippity Hop: Made you feel like you were 10 feet off the ground. Didn't this just become a weapon when kids would swing it at your head?
  • Tonka Truck: Can’t get more kid-fun than a bulldozer or dump truck made from a solid piece of metal playing in a pile of dirt. Worst when you left them out in the rain and they rusted and became crappy
  • Risk: A game about world domination? Yes please. Lemme guess, Australia is first to hold.

Comments

  • Shaun
    12/15/2019 | 08:12

    Big Daddy Kane speaks toy truth